If your trucks could talk, here’s what they might say:

“Hey you! Yeah, you, the guy who drives me everyday. Why don’t you do me a favor and clean me out once in awhile? I’m really sick of the stinking smell inside my cab, and you better hope my owner doesn’t look behind my seats. The owner? You know, the guy who signs your paycheck. My windshield looks like you ate your lunch off of it. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why it smells like stale pizza in here. And, really, how many pairs of dirty ear plugs can you fit in my glove box anyway?

“You know, I hate to break the news to you, but I am a big part of the image of this company. If you keep me clean inside and out, then people will notice. What do you mean it doesn’t matter? The customer might not come right out and say it, but believe me it matters. Look at my buddies over at FedEx and UPS — do you think they drive around all dirty and smelly? Heck no! No one wants some beat-up, dirty, scary-looking truck delivering his or her grandma her birthday present. So why wouldn’t that person expect the same from a landscape company?

“I have a question for you. Why do you think that if you put trash in my bed and then drive down the road at 40 miles per hour that all that paper and stuff won’t blow all over the place? I’m sick of people honking at me. I know you can’t hear the horns blaring with the radio so loud all the time. I also thought maybe you should know that when you leave grass in my bed for several days I don’t have much luck with the ladies. They would rather hang out with that old trash truck down the road than me. It’s embarrassing, man!

“Look, all I’m trying to say here is have a little pride, that’s all. Clean out my cab at the end of the day and wash me once in awhile. Image is important – no matter what you say. You know I’m really a rolling billboard for this company; think about that for a minute. How many people see us driving down the street on any given day? Hundreds, maybe even thousands? The owner spent all of that money putting the logo, website and phone numbers all over me. People are not going to be enticed to call a company that is being represented by someone like me — a dirty stinkin’ truck.

“Let’s cut to the chase here, Speed Racer. You like getting your paycheck, right? Well, who do you think is responsible for that paycheck? Yes, the owner is the guy who hands your paycheck to you, but who pays the owner, pal? Duh, it’s the customers. And in order to keep customers and attract new customers we have to be better than the competition — in every way, including having professional looking vehicles.

“You also want job security, correct? Well, if that is the case, then potential customers need to be able to actually read the company name and contact information plastered all over me. If it’s all covered in dirt and grime and I look like a driving trash receptacle, then they will just call the number on the next landscape truck they see. There is no shortage of my kind out there. You see us at every gas station and stop light in town.

“So, what do you say tonight when we get back to the shop you give me a quick wash and clean me up a bit? Maybe even check behind the seats? I could use a little TLC every once in awhile you know. Plus, I’m really sick of that old trash truck coming around talking trash to me and making fun of my smelly grass.”

COVER PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTO